2020 Goals – Others Before Me

I tend to be very self focused. I can also be a fairly selfish individual.

Maybe not in all areas of my life, but when it comes to my dreams, my vision, my purpose – it becomes obvious that I want “my” needs met to make those things happen.

2020 is the Beginning of a New Way of Doing Things

I have spent the last few years trying so hard to create and build a business that would support my family and fulfill the things that my heart longs to do.

While my intentions were in the right place… I mean what father doesn’t want to provide for his kids and to have his wife proud of him… the longer I went down that road, the more inwardly focused I became.

While pursuing my dreams and visions in trying to build my next business, my family has been the ones paying the higher price.

It hasn’t worked out that well and there are so many things I wish I could do over.

Starting now, I put:

  • Traci first
  • Kids second
  • Extended family third
  • Self fourth

What this means practically  – even though I have had some full-time work during the last few years, the pay was pitiful or work unreliable – it’s time I went and got a full-time job with a quality benefits package to bring stability and provision for this home that God has so blessed me with.

This is opposed to what I have been doing – finding a quick job fix that I never had any intention of sustaining because the grass would soon be greener up ahead.

My heart has changed. I see something even greater now. I believe a prolonged period of time in smoother waters sounds like a great place to take this ship. Too much time in the rough seas wears out a sailor and the crew.

It’s been obvious. If you are an outsider watching the movie The Family Man, it’s obvious to everyone, except Jack, that the good life is right in front of him.

Please Note: The list above is not neglecting my Christian faith and ultimately keeping God first and foremost. The list is the ones that God has given me in this life.

What Brought About The Change?

Much like Jack (who you will meet below), I had my own business for a dozen years or so. We were doing pretty well financially. That ended a few years back and it was time for a change…

…although I have not been willing to change. So much of me was wrapped up in the life I had been living and the career I had enjoyed. I have had a difficult time letting go.

That has now changed.

Several things brought this change about.

One was a quote by Robert Kiyosaki. While I completely respect him and understand the heart of the quote… it is a very selfish quote… unless of course, you’re single.

“Your salary is the bribe they give you to forget your dreams.” ~ RK

I believe there is truth in that statement.

But there is also a lie in that statement which neglects the fact you have a wife who loves you dearly, whose dreams are for “us,” and one you made a promise to a few years back at the alter. Those are greater dreams.

Another reason is a meeting we went to this week. We heard a fairly successful man give a presentation. There were aspects of this career path that connected with my passions and I could see myself doing this business. And no, <cough cough> it was not network marketing.

After the meeting we drove up the road and grabbed a burger and fries. As we reflected on the meeting, it became obvious that there were too many “if’s” to roll the dice (again).

These two things, plus others, finally got me to the fork in the road that you see in the image above. I’m taking the path to the right.

Jack and Kate

Jack chose his career over his college sweetheart, Kate, in The Family Man. Through a “ghost-from-Christmas-past-like” event, Jack is taken back to get a glimpse of what life would have been like had he chosen Kate over his career. Jack is a New York, Wall Street executive who wakes up to find himself in middle-class suburbia. For the remainder of the movie, Jack is trying to return to the life of affluence he once knew.

Jack is obviously a man who has grandiose pursuits in mind and a wife who would go to the ends of the earth for him. He has a choice to make before the ghost returns him to his real life back in NYC.

This extended clip from The Family Man is almost 7 minutes, but it is sooo worth your time. Check it out:

There is nothing more than I want to do in 2020 than to remove the burden of my selfishness from my family.

So… as a follow up from my previous post, How do you solve a problem like Maria?

Answer: You take the road to change and put others’ interests ahead of your own.

I understand that many will have thought this answer seemed obvious and easy all along, and quite frankly the journey unnecessary. Maybe so.

But this journey has been ours and I’m not so sure God did not have something to do with the route that was taken and the lessons I have learned. The path is rarely a straight line, and this was most certainly wasn’t.

Essentially, once I got my eyes off myself, it has been like the fog of the Ngong Hills lifting as the African sun rises in the sky. The skies were clear and I could see for miles.

I choose us!

I thought I had been doing these things for my family (kinda like Jack). Actually, it had become a selfish pursuit of my own dreams that my family could ride along with. Big difference!

I choose us, happily 🙂



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